I think the best part is reaching that point of your relationship where everyday feels the same and that you don’t have to worry about anything changing. You’ll still wake up to the same sleepy face and still be encapsulated by the warmth of the same awkward limbs, and still be able to share the same silly comments and thoughts and faces that only you two understand. I know it sounds repetitive and boring and is just a pattern that some can’t break, but I think it’s the most comforting in the world because some people can never reach that point and I think it means a lot when you do. It’s letting someone see and be with you in a way that no one else could. That’s what makes it so special.
I know you miss him and I know you think you can’t be without him. I know he told you he loved you and I know he said he’d never leave. I know although you knew you shouldn’t have believed that, you did and I know you want him more than anything. I know you spend extra time doing your makeup and hair perfect just in case he looks your way and I know secretly, you want to bump into him anywhere you go. I know you get that feeling when you walk past him and I know you just want him to look your way. I know he called you his baby and his number one and I know he told you he loved you at the end of each of his texts. I know he told you after he’s caused you so much pain. I know your face lights up at the mention of his name and I know that you were his world and I know he made you happy. I know you re-read the saved texts from him that you should of deleted ages ago and I know you can’t figure out what’s making you still like him so much even you’re scared to talk about him to your friends because you don’t want them to know how amazing he is. I know you still get that tingle feeling if he so much as looks as though he’s looking your way and I know that the whole day you’ll be analyzing what that look meant. I know you know he used you and I know you always forgave him for all his faults no matter what. I know you smile bigger, talk louder and laugh more when you see him anywhere near and I know that’s because you just want him to notice you again. I know you compare every guy to him and I know you’d do anything to prove your love for him. I know you take his mistakes out on everyone but him and I know you don’t mean to. I know you read your saved man conversations you had with him every night and I know you cry every time. I know you think you won’t care for anyone as much as you care for him and I know you tell everyone you’re “obviously” over him. I know that you don’t know that I can see right through that. I know you listen to the songs that remind you of him every night and I know you cry yourself to sleep. I know you’d do anything to be perfect for him and I know if it meant you had to stab yourself the next day after seeing him, if it meant spending a whole day with him, you’d do it. I know you can’t figure out what’s so different about him to all the other guys you’ve been with previously and I know he’s the reason you look in the mirror too much. I know you get that feeling every time you get a text, just because of the slight chance it might be him and I know anyone can see the hurt in your eyes when you find out it isn’t. I know you can’t figure out why he left you and I know you’ll never get an answer to that question. I know that. trust me. now listen. I know he doesn’t miss you and I know he doesn’t look at you twice. I know that if he does catch your eye it’s because you’re staring at him and he’s just looking around. I know your texts to him were deleted a long time ago, along with the man conversations and I know he’s dating a new girl now. I know for a fact that he doesn’t compare her to you. I know he doesn’t have feelings for you anymore and I know he just doesn’t care. I know he doesn’t care about you no more. he never did. trust me. I should know. I know you can relate to everything I said because he made us all feel the same. do me a favor please? when he’s done with his current girlfriend pass this onto her. I know you will because you appreciate this as much as I did when it got passed to me. knowing you’re not the only girl he’s hurt though, makes you feel better I guess. I wonder how many more girls he’s gonna hurt.
Tue, 24th April • 3 notes
Sometimes, we forget to praise people for their good doings and deserved awardings. We simply dwell on the ones who aren’t so lucky. We go against what’s wrong; we say that happy girls are bitches. But what about those happy girls? Shouldn’t we be happy that they got what they wanted, that they don’t have to live our unlucky life? Some people think that God made unattractive girls and attractive ones. But in truth, they are all beautiful. It’s not her fault if an unlucky girl has a zit on picture day. But it’s not the other girls fault if she doesn’t have a one; don’t hate her just for that. So this time I’m going to say, here’s to those girls who got lucky; the ones who are happy. Because they, too, deserve to have a smile on their face. Everyone does.
Wed, 4th April • 5 notes
No one has the right to tell you who you are and control your life, cause its yours. Your life is meant to be lived by no one else but yourself. We sometimes let people get the best of us, destroy us and change our opinions on what we believe is true. Only you know what’s right for yourself, you have the power, you make the choices and you learn. Each experience we go through in life is a lesson to be learned. We all make mistakes, why is that so hard for some to understand? No one should be judged by the mistakes they have made. Its past news. Everything happens for a reason, and without the hard times, how would we ever realize our true strength? It’s only through a time of suffering when we realize how strong we truly are inside, when we realize how much we can actually put up with and deal with before we eventually break.
Do you ever get that feeling where you don’t want to talk to anybody? You don’t want to smile and you don’t want to fake being happy. But at the same time you don’t know exactly whats wrong either. There isn’t a way to explain it to someone who doesn’t already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting, and being alone never was. At least when your alone no one will constantly ask you ‘whats wrong’ and there isn’t anyone who won’t take ‘i don’t know’ for an answer. You feel the way you do just because, you hope the feelings will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then, all you can do is wait.
Growing up back then had its perks. We watched great television and learned how computers worked. But before you dismiss us as a shallow sugary cereal generation, take a look at our life education. You may have seen your president get shot, but we see brutal violence in our school parking lots. You came out of Vietnam with a few heroes, but there were a lot of deaths at ground zero. You were judged by your color and race, but that was before school shootings took place. So life may have been tough back in 1967, but was it worse than seeing what happened on 9/11. Was the media pumping you with fear all the time? Harvard was a famous school not columbine. And no one knew what mad cow disease was. You fought battles overseas but we fight ones with ourselves daily. So next time you think you’re traumatized and real, we’ll be in the bathroom throwing up our meals.
Tue, 20th March • 4 notes
Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having.
There’s always that one person. No matter how many relationships they’ve had, how many times they didn’t respond to your text, how many times they ignored you, how many times they made you feel like you didn’t matter, how many times you sit on the floor crying because of them, or made you feel like shit; no matter how many times you say they don’t matter, deep down, every time that they text you, look at you, give you a hug, even just say your name, your walls break down and you can’t help but be happy. Even if you don’t want to be.
Mon, 19th March • 9 notes
Life has a tendency to come along and fuck shit up when you get happy. And not the shit happy, were you are stable enough and you’re just getting by. No, the kind where you are completely emerged in happy. When you wake up in the morning and you are just completely ecstatic to start your day because you know its going to be ok. For a teenager these day are rare. Now I wake up and hope to god it doesn’t get worse. I’ll sit and think about life as it use to be and pray to god that things go back to normal when I know then wont. Life has a funny way of telling you what you want and how bad things are for you. But I completely disagree with its logic. Instead of interrupting my great relationship with happy, why don’t you just let me find out for myself. Makes my own mistakes, its the only way I’ll learn. You don’t need to intrude and fuck it all up because you know it might end badly. Because the key word is might. It might also be great, the greatest thing I’ve ever done. It might be the thing that keeps me motivated and happy for the rest of my life. But now I’ll never know because you ruined it for me. Like you always do. That’s the one thing I can always count on you for, fucking shit up completely when I’m happy. Thanks for that, life. You truly suck.
A teenager is a person who can’t remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number. A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy before breakfast. A youngster who recieves her allowance on Monday and spends it on Tuesday and borrows her best friend’s allowance on Wednesday. Someone who can hear her favorite singer three blocks away, but not her mom in the next room. A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson, but can’t make a bed. A student who spends twelve minutes studying for history, but twelve hours studying for her driver’s license. An enthusiast who has the energy to bike four miles, but is too tired to do the dishes. A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates the little brother. A romantic who never falls in love for more than a week. A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off. A boy who can sleep ‘til noon on any Saturday when he expects the lawn needs mowing. And an original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager
Mon, 27th February • 3 notesSometimes I wish I could just turn it all off. I wish I didn’t feel anything, for you, for anything and anyone. Because feelings hurt. The moment you let your emotions take control, you’re fucked. I suppose you just have to decide whether it’s all going to be worth it or not, the troubles that come with love. Because of course, he’s going to hurt you. But if you really believe that in the end you will come out of it alive, together, then by all means go for it. I just hope that it all turns out well for you.
Sun, 26th February • 2 notes
I like cute guys. Not necessarily the hottest guy, but the one that’s clumsy and crazy and always makes me smile. You know what I mean? Like, he might not be Abercrombie potential, but he still has all my attention. No, not in the show-off-y type of way, but in the I’m-totally-cool-with-who-I-am kind of way. Like, he can smile at me and I know we were meant for this, for us. It would be like, he wouldn’t always know what to say and when to say it, but he would want to. Because sometimes caring enough to try is enough. And for us, it would be. He’d be spontaneous, always doing something I would have never expected that would make me fall in love. The kind of guy that is so proud to be yours. The kind that has an amazing family that you feel at home with. You know, the kind of guy that is your best friend, but the only person you could ever see yourself with at the same time. He would love me for everything I am. For real, not just say it like everyone else. He would mean it and I wouldn’t have to think twice to know he was telling the truth. And maybe we’d be exact opposites, but that’s what would make our relationship great, working at it. Because without the work, it wouldn’t be really worth it.
A lot happened that week. I learned a lot of things that really upset me and threw me off. I became someone that I never knew I was possible of being. I fought back tears every time my mind went to dark places. I really did hate myself. I spent two hours, alone with you, in your car, talking about nothing important. I kissed you that week. You. The boy who plays games with my heart. The boy who I mean nothing to. We kissed. It was awkward, and messy, and nothing like it should have been. But it happened. And to be perfectly honest? It was the only thing that I don’t regret from that entire week.
Sun, 26th February • 1 note